The self-defined “Victim” uses stealth personal power strategies to cope with anger, to“control” situations and other people in order to punish and to maintain a sense of superiority. Making use of "stealth" behavior provides the self-defined "Victim" a safety net while acting out this negative behavior pattern.
The self-defined “Victim’s” primary mechanism of personal power and control is through the manipulation of the sympathies of others outside or peripheral to the spouse or intimate other.
Like the Iceberg's ability to destroy through its unseen dangers, the self-defined "Victim's" stealth activities are hidden from the most recently (Victim-defined) "Victimizer" in his/her life.
“Colluding” facial expressions (an attempt to manipulate a “viewer” by an expression to “let's agree” that the other person is a jerk, etc), the raised eyebrow, negative full-body language, belittling comments behind-the-back of the “Victim”-Defined - “Victimizer” accompanies the primary mechanism for maintaining personal control of each relationship the self-defined “Victim” has established (including the relationships that are lost through maintaining the fiction of having been victimized within that lost relationship).
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Suggestive of self-defined "Victim" Behavior
Self-Defined "Victim" Behavior?